Tuesday, May 22, 2007

I'd like to think this will bring the lolcats phenomenon to its logical conclusion

The LOLCats must be stopped.

Have no idea what I'm talking about? Slate has an informative slide-show about the phenomenon.

I didn't really laugh at them at all until one of my favorite Pajiba writers submitted a list of phrases that don't hold up to lolcat pidgin.

With that inspiration and the power of the creative commons license (Thank you, Flickr), I present to you my one and only entry into image macros, proof that not all things can be made cuter with poor grammar and kitties:



Phrase courtesy of Dan Carlson and original image courtesy of Homingpigen, via Creative Commons license, on Flickr.

o hai i iz photoshop mastah.

Monday, May 21, 2007

You finally made a monkey out of me

What a twist!



If you simultaneously need to a) spoil movies for people; and b) wear a shirt, then Threadless has just the shirt for you:



In case you're wondering, it spoils: Star Wars; Planet of the Apes; The Usual Suspects; The Wicker Man; The Crying Game; The Sixth Sense; Harry Potter 6; Dallas "Who Shot J.R.?"; The Matrix; Fight Club; 300; Citizen Kane; The Others; Psycho; Soylent Green; The Village; A Beautiful Mind; Donnie Darko.

So if you haven't seen/read any of those, you probably shouldn't have read any of this.

... crap.

Spoilt by Oliver Moss [Threadless]

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Post Office, 1; Amateur personal financiers, 0

As I'm sure you've heard by now, the Post Office has come out with a non-value first class stamp called the "Forever" stamp. 41 cents per stamp now will send a first-class letter for life with that baby.

Better stock up, right?

Wrong. Read this tersely worded write-up from Slate:

Should we all be stocking up?

Absolutely not. Since 1971, postal rates have increased more slowly than the actual inflation rate, as measured by the U.S. Consumer Price Index. So, despite the numerous rate hikes over the last 36 years, stamps have actually been getting cheaper. ... Should this historical pattern hold, you'd be paying more for today's forever stamps than you would for any stamp in the future, no matter how high the rate goes.

In fact, this pattern must hold—as a matter of law. In December, President Bush signed the Postal Accountability and Enhancement Act, which ensures that future price increases will be kept below an inflation-based ceiling. In other words, postage hikes will never surpass inflation—and the forever stamp will never become a good investment.


Cue the Debbie Downer waaah-waaaah sound effect.

Related: can we please call a moratorium on complaining about the cost of postage? Last time I checked, the ability to send a letter anywhere in the country and have it get there in a few days (even Saturday!) for only 41 cents is a miracle. You can't even get a soda for that price anymore.

Side note: anyone catch The Office finale? 1) I've never been happier with the writers' decision to make Ryan a douchebag. 2) Dear NBC: Give Creed a blog. For real. 3) I guess something big happened between Jim and Pam as well.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Look at my category! It's... big

So, I was scanning the article on Wikipedia about Alia Shawkat because, like George Michael, I have an inappropriate crush on Maeby Fünke, and I noticed this in the list of article categories at the bottom:



... ... really? Must be a big collection. Like, 6 billion articles. Well, according to the collection's front page, it's got 127,000. Sounds like a new way to waste time at work.

This could backfire

Newest online "security" feature that is bound to fail: those "Verify Your Age" forms that where you put in your birthday to A) verify that you're 18, or however old you have to be (some beer sites check if you're 21); B) test if you're capable of second-grade math.

I don't know if anyone else had this experience, but turning 18 merely meant that I didn't feel as guilty when I told the porn sites that, yes indeed, I was old enough to be looking. Just sayin'...

Dear internets: give people some credit. Especially now that these time-wasting surveys are slapped on everything from beer sites to YouTube videos with naughty language.

I also considered that these things could just be ploys to get demographic data for advertisers--have to get that 18–34 male demo! If that's the case, I just like to screw with them:



I figure if they use this to target advertisements, saying I'm 98 will merely increase the number of targeted ads I receive for Fiber One and pralines while keeping the amount of adds for penile enlargement creams roughly the same.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

People have too much spare time

While I'm stuck in the lab, thank god for folks that have enough time to create movies about Mario getting strung out on mushrooms and stars and mistreating the princess. Must watch:



This is pretty much hilarious 90% of the time, which makes it 9 million percent better than the average video on YouTube.

[Mario: Game Over] courtesy of DeadSpin and Kotaku.

Conan is funny when he goes places

Were you aware? Whenever Conan O'Brien goes somewhere, funny stuff happens.

Like this recent trip to Industrial Light and Magic:



You'll note that Conan's 30 seconds as a CGI-rendered alien is more entertaining than 3 movies worth of Jar Jar Binks all 3 prequels.

If making fun of nerds isn't your thing, try this one, where he invades a group of 1864-rules baseball recreationists:



His interactions with the widow are priceless.

And, yes, I don't really know how the baseball one is that far removed from making fun of nerds.

Friday, May 04, 2007

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Reasonable? Music? On the internet? I don't believe you

The parts of me that get excited by economics, consumer law, and music got all a-tinglin' when I was reading this moderate proposal to solve music piracy.

Yes, I realize he actually references Swift's famous piece of satire, but I think his argument is honest.

First, he talks commodity to me about the nature of "selling" music:

When someone “purchases” Windows Vista, or the new Arcade Fire CD, is it really a “purchase,” no different than buying a hamburger, a car, or a t-shirt? No. Burgers, cars and T-shirts are “rival goods.” There are limited numbers of them, and there are significant production costs attached to both the creation and duplication of such goods. If you take a burger, or a Mercedes, that is one less burger/Benz for everyone else.

...

This is why everyone who has ever said “stealing music is exactly like stealing a car” or anything similar to that, is fundamentally incorrect. They are trying to inject their morals into what is, at this level, an economic discussion.


Next, he takes the music industry to task for their catastrophic blundering re: Napster

If they had vision, they could have thought something like this:

Wow, 60 million people in less than a year? Downloading how much? That’s amazing. If we do this right we can eliminate all of our production and distribution costs and become a pure profit business. How can we profit from this?

Instead, they thought something like this:

EEEK! Hippies are stealing my money! Assemble the lawyers!

...

The worst part of the success of the Napster litigation, is that it legitimized a new revenue stream — a revenue stream that, pre-Napster, no one would DARE utter aloud.

Suing your customers.


Then, he addresses faces the new reality of music consumption:

This is my thought: The Internet + P2P + Napster has completely blown up everyone’s concept of how much music someone can possess. Pre-Napster, very few people had 1000 CDs worth of music, or even 300 CDs worth. Very few people had the money and storage space to amass such a collection, or the wherewithal to seek it out. 300CDs used to be A LOT of music.

Now? Who do you know that doesn’t have a few thousand songs in their collection?


And, the best idea I have ever heard:

Now that the technology is available, what if the labels started to offer unlimited DRM-free downloads of their catalog for an up-front annual license fee of $240, or if they were brave, a $20 dollar a month fee with a cap on per-month downloading (let’s say 3000 songs per month)?

(Mass hysteria in the crowd.)


I would definitely pay $20 to have reasonable access to MP3s that you get to keep without all the DRM caveats of current subscription-based services like Napster. Obviously. Who wouldn't? Even with my extreme album fetishism--yes, I still like to actually hold the fragile, scratch-prone CDs, deal with flimsy jewel cases, read worthless liner notes, and reorder my albums to Icy-Hot my OCD tendencies a la High Fidelity--that'd be a hell of a deal.

First, I'd wipe out my 200+ album wish list, then immediately cancel the music subscription. Then, in a few weeks, I'd come crawling back with a whole new list of music I want. Then cancel again. Then come back in a few weeks. Repeat until I realize that it'd just be easier to keep paying the money and have access to music when I want it for a reasonable price.

And why should the music industry do this?

Do the labels (and film studios and software producers and etc.) want to foster a friendly, mutually beneficial relationship with their customers, with pricing and valuation of licenses for their products that reflect current technological realities and new cultural norms?

or,

Do they want to desperately cling to outmoded prices and valuations in the hopes of fictional trillion dollar profits?

Do they want to clog the courts with ridiculous, frivolous lawsuits?

Do they want to continue making an entire generation of kids think that “RIAA” and “Copyright” are curse words?


Enough said.

[Of Lattimorists, Goddamn Hippies, and the (possible) future of copyright law.] - Jefitoblog, courtesy of Idolator.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Why, the tyrant King George, of course!

Been watching The Office? You really should. Since Arrested Development ended, The Office is easily the funniest sitcom on TV these days.

Like this clip, which probably gave me the biggest laugh of the year so far, as Dwight tries to catch a Ben Franklin impersonator in the act:



In fact, any Jim/Dwight interplay is almost invariably the best part of any office episode, as this sneak from this week's episode shows:



Here's a nice collection of clips. My all-time favorite Jim/Dwight confrontation shows up around the 5:30 (2:20 remaining on the embedded player) mark:



I take it back. Jim mugging for the camera is the best part of any episode. Unless Creed is involved:





Or Toby...



It's a good show with a good variety of solid characters. You can't go wrong.