Throw the (picture) book at her!

For your evening amusement, from Slate:

On March 28, Desre'e Watson, a 6-year-old kindergarten student at Avon Elementary School, had a bad morning. She cried. She wailed. She kicked. She scratched. She hit a teacher. That's what the police say, anyway.

The police? That's right. To subdue the unruly kindergartner, school officials phoned Avon Park's police department ("committed to enhancing the 'Quality of Life' of the community"). When the cops arrived, young Desre'e attempted to resist arrest by crawling under a table. But Avon Park's finest pulled her out, cuffed her, put her in a police cruiser, drove her to the county jail, and charged this 50-pound menace with a felony and two misdemeanors.

Read the whole article and--I'm salivating as I type this, it's so delicious--see the police report here. As Bill from Kill Bill would say, "I... overreacted."

Did you really need to get the police involved here? My dad used to tell a story from his days as a junior high math teacher. One of his delightful scamps forgot his Ritalin (or the mid-70s equivalent... I assume that would be cocaine) and started freaking out and trying to climb out the windows and tear down the curtains.

Dad, being a reasonable person, grabbed the monster, planted him on the floor, and sat on him until someone else came to take him away. Yes, sat on him. Kept the kid under control and almost certainly gave the class bullies enough ammunition for a lifetime of schoolyard insults. If it were me, I would have tried to fart on him too, but I'm not as classy as my father.

Seems more satisfying than being the teacher that got a kid slapped with a felony charge at age 6. The next parent–teacher conference? Awkward...

And now for something completely different, observe a sword opening a bottle:



Aren't slow-mo cameras neat?