Facebook begins to unravel

When VH1's "I Love the 00s" rolls around, a bunch of C-list comedians will attempt to pinpoint when, exactly, Facebook lost it. Today, Facebook's shark-jumping moment popped up in my News Feed:



I think it's time for Facebook to really think long and hard about letting just anyone write a program for the site, or it's on its way to MySpace flashing lights and blaring-background-muzak-from-shitty-basement-'punk'-bands hell.

A lesson in concision for the CIA

So I saw on the Washington Post today that the CIA released a 19-page redacted executive summary of a report about the Agency's failures leading up to 9/11.

19 pages?! For just the executive summary?! You've got to be kidding me. If you're calling it an "executive summary" it damn well better be less than a page or 2--especially considering who our chief executive is.

Here's a hint for the CIA (and, really, anyone): if you want people to read your reports and enact change, make the executive summary shorter than the latest Harry Potter book.

From what I can surmise from the article, this would have done nicely:



I think it nicely hits all the talking points.

Slate was really on top of their game today

Wow, Slate was really kicking ass on the Alps today.

First, they unearthed the fax that Chimpy McFlightsuit used to cede power to Cheneytron while he was in surgery. Yes, a fax. The same official, super secure document transmission method I use to order Chipotle burritos. You'd think he'd at least call!

If you're interested in some Harry Potter discussion, they have a nice series of letters about their predictions and feelings after it's over. Spoilers, obviously. Will Leitch, busybody editor of Deadspin gets in on the action.

Finally, they had not one but two killer slideshows. First up are examples of the video game clichés that let us instantly pick up new games, like medpacks and The Konami Code.

I guess Medpacks are preferable to eating cute fairies (picture link goes nowhere):



Second up is an exploration of the 12 major types of advertisements. They've put together some pretty good examples, and Seth Stevenson totally digs up one of my favorite ads ever, Nike's "Awake:"



Man, now I'm pumped. Might as well clear out some of my other Slate links here:

Did you catch their Action Movie one-liner contest? I would say my favorite was "Myspace friend add … denied!" but screw Myspace! "Dénouement-ized, man-kisser!" takes the cake. One blogger really took it to another level though with "Spoiler Alert! You die." and "You’re Tony Soprano and I’m an artsy fade to black." or "Subway: Eat death."

They launched a new video service, SlateV, with some very excellent video versions of their articles. Frankly, they're the best I've ever seen for internet videos. They certainly know when to let ridiculous material speak for itself. It also has a blog that tracks 'net videos that nicely complements the AV Club's "Videocracy" column as places to find fun videos without getting your fingers dirty by actually going to YouTube, land of daxflames and lonelygirls. Yeck.

Last but not least, a classic article by Hua Hsu about inexplicable hit "My Humps:"

Irony and camp have recast taste as an ethical shell game and we feel no guilt celebrating things that are, in the parlance of VH1, Awesomely Bad. But are there still songs that qualify as "bad"? Consider the Los Angeles hip-hop quartet the Black Eyed Peas. Their current single, "My Humps," is one of the most popular hit singles in history. It is also proof that a song can be so bad as to veer toward evil.

At least "My Humps" gave us this, which almost makes up for "You Oughta Know:"

Harry Potter and Poetry

So I've finished Harry Potter. My only comment that I'll share on a blog right now is... has JK Rowling always used so many ellipses? I counted like 20 on one page. Use a period, lady!

Now for something completely different: Famous Poems as Limericks! Here's my favorite:

There was a man who, at low tide
Would walk with the Lord by his side
Jesus said "Now look back;
You'll see one set of tracks.
That's when you got a piggy-back ride."

And you thought there wasn't a way to make "Footprints In The Sand" any more ridiculous, did you?

"The Raven" as a limerick is quite good as well.

[Via BoingBoing]

Processing priority Potter pilfering, post-haste!

Disclaimer: Stealing is bad.

But maybe you'd be interested in seeing photos of every page of the last Harry Potter book. It's not as great as you think: it's very difficult to read since it's at a pretty fair distance. But it looks legit and it's apparently all there.

If you use BitTorrent, you could know who lives and who dies right now. Just sayin.' [Tip and Photo via Boing Boing]

PS: No, I haven't read it. Yet.

PPS: While you're waiting, here's a profane wish list of things that the final book should answer (via Cracked).

PPPS: Anyone seen the fifth movie yet? I thought it had a lot of nice moments but still wasn't as good as the third and fourth ones. Still way better than the unremittingly painful first two. I'm 25 years old, by the way.