No Enjoyment for Overstimulated Assholes

My imaginary rebuttal to the snap review of No Country for Old Men from a young, male, audience member who spent the entire quiet, contemplative, solemn film talking on his goddamn cell phone.

[Upon witnessing the ending of a haunting, beautifully crafted film that has an ending scene that is as perfect and thought-provoking as it is thoroughly lacking a tidy resolution or happy ending]
Asshole in audience: That's it? Is there a second act? Have they planned a sequel? What a fuckin' waste of time!
Me [in my mind]: Dude, the new Larry the Cable Guy movie is down the hall.

I thought of that one two minutes later in the car. Jerk store would have smoked that guy.

Also, I'm done with grad school and about to be gainfully employed, so look for me to finally get back to this blog in the near future.

[Crickets]

No one reading anymore? I thought so.

Oh yeah! Tang!

Until yesterday I would have told you that the best Kool-Aid Man joke would be this classic from the pilot episode of Family Guy:



Until today, when I found out that Robot Chicken trumped it:

Hey, I still have a blog

[Crawls out from under a mountain of work]

Whoa, there's still light up here.

Seems like everyone needs some laughs these days, so have some random videos from Robot Chicken:

Like this 300 parody:



Or maybe this immensely funny Final Fantasy VII spoof that had me rolling on the floor, but I can't embed it for some reason.

And, finally, how to deal with impending death:

Oh, and since you can't top reality, did you know that James Lipton was an I-swear-I'm-not-making-this-up French pimp:



Words fail me on that one.

Phew. See you all in a month or so.